i'm annoyingly human, are you?

i've been thinking a lot lately about what gives us our humanity? what makes us just human, as opposed to super human or inhumane? what is the quality that basically good people of every background, from queens( hey-ey) and presidents to the mentally retarded (maybe that's a bad example of opposites:-)share? is it the capacity to love? sure, but that's to glossy and pretty to be alone at the core of us. is it our ability to reason? maybe a little. our ingenuity, compassion, kindness, hate, or ambivalence? perhaps to a degree. but i am thinking more and more that it may simply be our ability to get miffed. ticked-off. pissy. annoyed. it's not only the ability we all have to go there, but the space we give those in our lives to go there with us, and come back to good. what i'm talking about is different than anger, it's just miffed. why am i miffed? because i am. because you're breathing. because the air smells weird. because you're bugging me. just because i'm human and i'm allowed.

for those of you out there in this blogosphere that are blessed to have great friends or a wonderful partner, can you think about when you knew that they were truly going to be a great person in your life? was it when you laughed together, or connected deeply, or shared intimately? of course, that's part of it. but there is something about someone experiencing you when you're miffed, and liking you still, that really tells the truth of your relationship. maybe it's a minor miff where you just roll your eyes or sulk a little, or maybe a more major miff where you verbalize how thoroughly annoyed you are. either way, you know it's a real friendship when you're simply allowed this basic testament to your humanity. i remember when i first got miffed around dana. we were walking on the lakewalk in duluth. i can't recall exactly what it was that was bugging me, but i remember very distinctly that she was just with me. she didn't try and force me to talk it out or make it into a big issue, she just rode the wave with me and let me be what i was.

in other friendships or relationships you get a message somewhere along the way that being miffed won't be tolerated, or maybe you yourself doesn't want to show when you're miffed out of a fear of being rejected. this is no good. miffed itself gets miffed when you try and stifle miffed, and oh boy you do not want to miff miffed. see, i just miffed myself with that sentence! what i'm trying to say is that getting miffed is a crucial part of your humanity, and if someone requires you to muffle your humanity, well that itself will eventually miff you. there's no way around miffed, if your eyes are left unrolled and the smile on your face is forced for too long your simple feeling o' miff will turn to anger and resentment and we all know what can happen then.

please don't misunderstand my little miff rant here, i'm not saying we should all walk around annoyed 24/7, i'm just saying that when we do feel that way with someone or something or even no one and no thing it's ok, it just means you are on the right track with your humanity. so don't worry, if it's really just a case of miffed it will pass as quickly as it came. like a summer storm on a warm night, leaving the plants watered and the grass a little greener.

this theory of mine is in the evolutionary states. i would love to hear your feelings and experiences with being in the state of miffed!