No Impact Man: a review

i just finished watching the documentary, "no impact man". it's the story of one man, a writer in nyc, that takes his family on an exploratory year of trying to live without impact on the environment. the short version of my review would be," it was good". i am me however, so i have a little more to say about it.

i would start with the title, clearly thought up by man with his black and white brain, as "no" impact is not an actual possibility. that aside, i like the premise of exploring ways that ordinary people (and they are) can reduce their environmental impact on the world. the thought that individual action is meaningful in some way in the face of humongous world issues is something i believe very strongly in.

some of the things that drew me to watch this film are that his wife agreed to go along on this journey (with their young daughter) despite being a self professed "high fructose corn syrup and reality television addict" who works for a major national magazine. also, i like the fact that the man behind the philosophy does not have a long scientific history with environmental impact issues. he is a guy who had an idea and ran with it. because of this humanity his experiment was an evolutionary one, and a deeply flawed one; which in my view makes it more accessible to the masses, and thus more powerful. his contention is that by making these changes, and attempts at changes, he would inspire others to look for ways they could do the same in their lives, they in turn would inspire the people in their world to make some different choices, and so on and so on.

one of my favorite lines from the film was when he said (i'm paraphrasing), "i think idealism is one of the most powerful political acts". he was met with a lot of skepticism via his blog (which tracked his families journey), and it caused him to wonder a lot about why people were so afraid or opposed to believe in someone trying to make positive changes. i have to agree, i mean we are all pretty much on the same page these days that the environment is seriously f-ed up, and doing things to have less of an impact is a good thing (hello, massively simplified statement). it took us a long time to get to the place where there was mainstream acknowledgement of environmental issues, now is the time to open ourselves up to the ideas of others so that we can start to look at turning this pony around and having a positive impact (as opposed to "no" impact) on the world around us. we can learn from each other to find what works, and what doesn't, to reduce our negative individual impacts. another piece of good news is that what works for me, doesn't have to be the same for you. for me riding my bike everywhere and not having a car isn't something that would work well at this stage of my life, but maybe it would work very well for someone who lived in a different place or had a different lifestyle. well, that's great. i can contribute by not eating meat, recycling, composting, and eating locally. if we all did just a few things that we feel inspired to do it truly would have a big impact.

so while i don't think it's realistic for everyone to go whole hog (pun intended) trying not to have any impact on the environment, i do think exploring the vast array of ways in which we do make impacts is a good conversation to have because let's face it, simply recycling isn't going to cut it anymore. at it's core i think that was what "no impact man" was trying to convey. i also think that if you get past the black and white falsehood in the title, which i think makes it sound like a documentary that is only going to make it's audience feel inadequate and defensive, that it's message is a good one, and surprisingly it is very accessible to the masses. overall, i recommend. let me know what you think if you've seen it!

in accordance

i don't know when exactly i dedicated a space in my brain to the idea of living in accordance with ones values, and more specifically all of the ways that i (and those i observe around me) violate that relationship, but it's been at least a year or so. not that the idea that one should try and live this way only occurred to me one year ago, but it has it's own dedicated space now. it's no longer a fleeting and vague philosophy, it has become a crucial part of how i conduct myself. it was one of the major factors in our cross country move last summer, and it is center stage for my recent (albeit tentative) plan to transition to not just vegetarianism, but to becoming vegan. STOP. wait. I'M NOT THERE YET. there is still cheese in my fridge, and milk on my breath. as of today however i am committing to no longer buying meat products for anyone in my house (yes, there have been family discussions and consensus), and to not buying any new dairy products for myself. for awhile now my kids and i have been discussing the animal rights side of becoming veggie in some form or another. we are animal freaks to the core in our house, and when we talk very honestly about the relationship between being animal lovers AND meat eaters, there is no real honest justification. we are not living in accordance with one of our most treasured family values. why? for an occasional chicken finger or creamy piece of cheese? yes. that's why. we have said that the rights and lives of all living creatures are important to us, but our actions have drawn a big red line through that statement because ultimately we have prioritized our habits over our beliefs. it's shameful, and so very common. in fact i think the commonness of this separatist way of living is what really helps us justify it.

another piece of this puzzle is our families individual and collective health. as the leader of our household i pride myself on providing genuinely good wholesome foods to my family. we have been organic before organic was cool, and we avoid any and all high fructose corn syrup, hydrogenated oils, and crazy-ass food dyes. my kids have always lived this way, they have been able to identify certain "bad" ingredients on a food label since before they could read. additionally i am a really good cook, i have never been someone who will eat something JUST because it's good for me, it has to taste good too. i have learned that it is possible to make almost anything taste pretty damn good if you know the methods and trust your culinary instincts. personally i haven't eaten red meat since i was 19, and i was a vegetarian for several years during my 20's. even now i eat far less meat than most meat eaters i know. it rarely finds it's way into my shopping cart; and still i haven't made the commitment to fully transition to a plant based diet. little g and i both have acid reflux regularly, in addition to other GI issues. z. has sensory integration dysfunction, autism, and (despite it being normalized by doctors) very early puberty in my opinion. all of these daily health concerns can be traced back either wholly, or partially, to our diet rich in dairy and animal products. at the least our diet can exacerbate these issues, at the most i fear it is actually causing some of them. it's interesting because when z has food dyes she inevitably has a meltdown within 2 hours. she loves her sugar, and if it's blue or pink or bright red, all the better in her eyes! but i can count with 100% accuracy on her mood for the remainder of the day. i find that fascinating. what specifically is happening inside her body to cause that reaction? the same is true for me with my allergies when i have a lot of cheese.

now i must confess that i am someone who gets on a kick with this, that, or the next thing and tends to go whole hog (pun intended). which is why i have been gently reading, pondering, and exploring this whole plant based diet thing for months now. i have talked myself in and out of it several times, but it keeps popping up around (and within) me with a resonance that is difficult to ignore. this all or nothing mentality is also something i have learned to be wary of as it hasn't served me well in the past, so i am slowly transitioning. i'm replacing cow milk with almond milk (shockingly good, and this from someone who does not like soy milk at all!), butter is giving way to earth balance, sour cream to tofutti, and cheese... well, cheese is just going to have to fade into my past like a lover that did me wrong and no longer works in my life; because i think the vegan "cheeses" that are on the market are disgusting and insulting to a cheese lover like me. :-) becoming ok with letting go of my creamy love is a process, but i am confident that i can be happy even without it in my life.

this life is a short one and it is my intention to live as honorably as possible. there are so many things happening in this world that i have little or no control over, but which distress and worry me a great deal. war, famine, abuse, neglect, corruption, murder, natural disaster, and devastating environmental issues just to name a few of the things that make me want to crawl in a hole and sleep the time away. this is another reason that a plant based diet will help me to live in accordance with my values. it is, i think, one of the most impactful decisions i can make to start becoming more a part of the solutions versus the problems i see in the world around me, and to move even closer to aligning my values with my daily way of life.

always on my mind...

my dad's side of the family used to get together often for what we called "jam sessions". the whole lot of them were musicians masquerading during the day as lawn mower repair men, office workers, door to door salesmen, housewives, etc... when it was time for a jam session, dad was on drums and vocals, aunt mimi played the accordovox (known to the rest of the world as the accordion), and uncle dickie was the standard on the guitar. depending on who showed up there might be random others sitting in. everyone would drink a lot, eat a lot, and drink more. the hallmark for me to know the night was a success was when my great uncles would start calling me "grandma lee" and giving me 2 dollar bills. i have A LOT of 2 dollar bills to this day.

they would play a variety of music, mostly old country. a variety of toasts and tributes would be given in slurred speech and the kids would eventually find somewhere to fall asleep when the sun was coming up.

one of my dad's favorites to play was willie nelson's 'always on my mind'. so slow and sad it would help everyone tap right into their trauma, which there is never a shortage of in my family. getting to that place of despair was always the ultimate goal.

tonight, a random tuesday late at night, i am up watching bad tv; and what do i hear but willie's weathered voice singing 'always on my mind'. it's a commercial for the ASPCA, making a plea for people to help pets who have to "fear the ones that are supposed to care for them". they show pictures of various broken spirited dogs and cats in shelters, and i can't help but wonder where our commercial was. in fact, where is it today? where is the public advertisement that asks the public to financially support rescuing the abused and neglected kids in our society? there are over 700,000 kids in foster care in this country, and yet you rarely hear about it. these are kids who have suffered severe trauma; who are floating on a sea of uncertainty in unfamiliar and often unsafe environments. if they were literally floating on a wrecked barge off of one of our coast lines, these little children who need our help, would we just ignore them? i hope not. so why do we now? why don't we look at our neighbors, and examine our communities policies on caring for children? why are there people injecting themselves with known cancer causing fertility treatments when there are 700+ kids in minnesota alone who are LITERALLY waiting for adoption. FREE adoption. i don't understand this? i don't think i ever could. (which by the way, i am thankful for.)

if you find yourself filling your mind with "buts" right about now than you need to seriously reexamine your perspective. for example: "but those kids all have serious special needs, and i could never do that". or "but i need to have a child 'of my own'." (my personal FAVORITE). if you want a perfect child that needs no special considerations than you should forget about being a parent at all. EVERY kid has special needs. EVERY kid has challenges. guess what? so does every adult. i defy anyone to walk up to me, look me in the eye, and tell me that my children are not my "own". in fact, i double dog dare you. nothing has ever been more of me or from me than my amazing girls. i'm not some saint who just a has a big heart for 'this kind of thing' (something else we hear a lot). we are just regular average people with the capacity to love. we fuck up every day, and we love our kids. they will never know what it is to have to wander off somewhere in an unfamiliar house and try to find a safe place to crash because they don't know where their parents are... at least not on my watch.

long story short (or not), go ahead and adopt a rescue pet, and consider rescuing a child while you're at it.

yes we did...

there are so many things swirling around in our world on this historic day. speculations, praise, hope, caution, optimism, redemption, the list could go on forever. what i mostly feel, is hope. i am so grateful this morning, for hope.

as a lesbian mother who has taken on the joy and challenge of raising two beautiful little bi-racial girls i have felt a mother-connection to this race. what i mean by that is simply that i felt more invested for my kids, for what it would mean to them and their history, their journey, their story as young black women (and old black women) in this country than i did for my own political ideologies. in these last days and weeks as i watched obama campaign i held my breath and wished all good things for him the way a mother does when their child is on stage at a school concert. fingers crossed, almost afraid to watch, but too proud and hopeful not to.

good parents tell their kids, "you can be anything you want to be when you grow up". we give them this mantra to propel them forward in their lives even though, secretly, we know that it is more complicated than that. sometimes when i tell my girls this i wonder if i'm sort of lying to them. after all i have seen enough of this world to know that all doors have not historically opened to young people of color, let alone young people of color who come from trauma and are raised by lesbians.

but today, today i feel content. content that i have not lied to my kids. that we as a country have made good on my promise as a mother. my promise to them that if they do good and try their best they can achieve far beyond anything we can fathom.

the other night at dinner as we were talking about the election, and who my little darlings would vote for at school the following day my youngest, g., asked me where barack obama was from. it started us talking about his background. i felt pride and relief to be able to tell them about this (now) very mainstream man, and how he rose to his success from a place much like where they have begun. "he had one mom, and his dad was not there to raise him", i told them. "he had hard times in his life, but he loved learning and worked to be a good person and help other people as hard and as much as he could." they listened and asked questions and got very excited to vote, we all did.

after his win was announced last night i tried to wake them and tell them of the amazing news. my oldest wouldn't even stir from her deep sleep, and little g. didn't open her eyes when i told her, but she smiled a sweet little smile. this morning bounding out of their room the first question was, "mommy!!! did he win? did he win? " and i could say "YES HE DID!" the 3 of us danced in the hallway for a minute. two little black girls fresh off a night of sleep in suburban minnesota, still wearing their shower caps to protect their lovely locks, dancing in celebration of a victory they can only understand a fraction of. it was SO good.

they will grow up with the luxury of taking this historic election for granted. i can tell by the looks on their faces that they, of course, don't fully understand the gravity of this victory. someday they will understand though, and i wonder when that will be? i wonder how this will change the course of their lives? of all of our lives.

there is no doubt that there is a mountain of epic proportions to be climbed by the obama administration, and all of us who are involved and invested in our betterment and growth as a country. for today though i am smiling. because what i have told my kids, that if they work hard they can be anything they want to be, turns out to actually have more truth to it than i let myself dream before this day.

a stones throw...

i have some concerns about what i see happening with barack obama. more to the point, i have some concerns about what some left wingers are doing to barack obama. since just before hilary conceded there has been a trend of tearing him down, and it makes me want to step back and examine this trend of 'glorify then demonize' that we seem to be addicted to in this country. i am all about our freedom to ask questions and scrutinize our leaders and policies. but i would like to say to all of the loud mouthed fools out there that you should really be more educated before you start regurgitating the sound bite you heard and liked. because you sound dumb, and bitter. two qualities which make (smart)people immediately stop listening to you. which in effect removes you from the political discourse that you so desperately want to be a part of. ask yourself, are you moving the political process forward or in reverse?

it's alarming to me that i hear people, over the course of a year or so, go through the same course of talk about a celebrity like brittney spears, as i do about our democratic nominee for president. we build 'em up and we tear 'em down. and i wonder why? what are we getting out of it as individuals? because you know we wouldn't do it if we weren't getting something out of it. people love to cheer for the underdog, to feel they have somehow seen value in someone that no one else has found. but what happens when the world discovers this person and they become generally accepted? i see this all the time. someone loves the next big thing. the next big thing becomes THE big thing and then all of the sudden the original admirer does not love anymore. why? is it not cool? because a year ago the sun rose and set out of the arse of a plucky young african american senator who was considering a run at the whitest house on earth. it was his sincerity, and his vision for change that we all felt so hungry for. now we attack his sincerity and call it naivete and we say his vision for change translates to loose policy. with brittney she was a "role model" and a promising young talent (to some:), and now she's a filthy whore not worthy of our compassion. i have a news flash here people, she was never a role model, and she's not a filthy whore. barack was never the second coming, and he's a not a backwoods neophyte either. they, and the thousands of others like them in the public eye are human. aka, not perfect. ie, neither god nor devil. i am feeling really disgusted with this trend of hoisting someone onto our shoulders, cheering them onto the big pedestal, applauding them as they stand there and we adore from down below, all the while searching the ground for big freakin' rocks to hurl at them in unison and knock them the hell of that f-ing pedestal- i mean who do they think they are anyway!? c'mon people! knock it off. it's self destructive behavior. i hear the right wing and the terrified talking about the enemies coming to get us from other parts of the world and i think, why would they bother? we are going to collapse in on ourselves pretty quick here if we keep this up. we (USA) are like a spoiled teenager spinning out of control. someone is our B/F/F one week, we hate them the next. we consume everything we can get our grubby hands on expecting someone else to clean up our mess and pay the bill. we eat like it's the last supper 3 times a day. we talk loudly about things we really do not understand. we judge people who we perceive as different from us and we think our way is the only good way there is. it's really ridiculous when you look at it. when a voice of reason does try and creep in, we boo and hiss as loudly as we can and call them names. for instance, the media and many of the people who have jumped on the "iraq war is bad" bandwagon now like to say that no one was dissenting the war before it happened, that the president had the country behind him. false. i'm pretty sure i remember a latte being thrown from the window of a large SUV as my family and i marched against the war with a large group of other people before the war began. i'm also pretty sure i remember hearing about lots of other such rallies being help all over the country. but the booing and the hissing and the anti-patriotic name calling drowned us out. what i'm saying is that of more people would be able to articulate what they really think and feel if we would all just calm down. think it through. take turns talking. read more. ask questions, and LISTEN to what all sides have to say. and did i mention, calm down? what about think more? did i already say that? stop expecting others (read: public figures) to be far more perfect than you. they're not. they have an area of talent that is different than you, and they are qualified for a different job than you are. it's ok. you can respect them and disagree sometimes. you can like their vision and not agree with all of their platforms. you can vote for change and be brave and try something new even if you aren't sure if it's going to work out the way you want it to. you don't have to be obama-crazed to vote a democrat into office. he will do a good job. and he will make mistakes. these are the things we know. keep asking questions, but please calm down and do it nicely. you might be surprised with what you hear in the answers when you listen with an open mind.