always on my mind...

my dad's side of the family used to get together often for what we called "jam sessions". the whole lot of them were musicians masquerading during the day as lawn mower repair men, office workers, door to door salesmen, housewives, etc... when it was time for a jam session, dad was on drums and vocals, aunt mimi played the accordovox (known to the rest of the world as the accordion), and uncle dickie was the standard on the guitar. depending on who showed up there might be random others sitting in. everyone would drink a lot, eat a lot, and drink more. the hallmark for me to know the night was a success was when my great uncles would start calling me "grandma lee" and giving me 2 dollar bills. i have A LOT of 2 dollar bills to this day.

they would play a variety of music, mostly old country. a variety of toasts and tributes would be given in slurred speech and the kids would eventually find somewhere to fall asleep when the sun was coming up.

one of my dad's favorites to play was willie nelson's 'always on my mind'. so slow and sad it would help everyone tap right into their trauma, which there is never a shortage of in my family. getting to that place of despair was always the ultimate goal.

tonight, a random tuesday late at night, i am up watching bad tv; and what do i hear but willie's weathered voice singing 'always on my mind'. it's a commercial for the ASPCA, making a plea for people to help pets who have to "fear the ones that are supposed to care for them". they show pictures of various broken spirited dogs and cats in shelters, and i can't help but wonder where our commercial was. in fact, where is it today? where is the public advertisement that asks the public to financially support rescuing the abused and neglected kids in our society? there are over 700,000 kids in foster care in this country, and yet you rarely hear about it. these are kids who have suffered severe trauma; who are floating on a sea of uncertainty in unfamiliar and often unsafe environments. if they were literally floating on a wrecked barge off of one of our coast lines, these little children who need our help, would we just ignore them? i hope not. so why do we now? why don't we look at our neighbors, and examine our communities policies on caring for children? why are there people injecting themselves with known cancer causing fertility treatments when there are 700+ kids in minnesota alone who are LITERALLY waiting for adoption. FREE adoption. i don't understand this? i don't think i ever could. (which by the way, i am thankful for.)

if you find yourself filling your mind with "buts" right about now than you need to seriously reexamine your perspective. for example: "but those kids all have serious special needs, and i could never do that". or "but i need to have a child 'of my own'." (my personal FAVORITE). if you want a perfect child that needs no special considerations than you should forget about being a parent at all. EVERY kid has special needs. EVERY kid has challenges. guess what? so does every adult. i defy anyone to walk up to me, look me in the eye, and tell me that my children are not my "own". in fact, i double dog dare you. nothing has ever been more of me or from me than my amazing girls. i'm not some saint who just a has a big heart for 'this kind of thing' (something else we hear a lot). we are just regular average people with the capacity to love. we fuck up every day, and we love our kids. they will never know what it is to have to wander off somewhere in an unfamiliar house and try to find a safe place to crash because they don't know where their parents are... at least not on my watch.

long story short (or not), go ahead and adopt a rescue pet, and consider rescuing a child while you're at it.

sweet and low...

there is no sweeter sound to me these days than the sound of d's car pulling in the driveway with my girls after school. the sound i relish is not from the car specifically, it's the sound of all three of them singing loudly with the windows rolled down.

d. and i are both music fiends and we have made sure it is a centerpiece of our family life. often we have the same taste in music, sometimes we diverge. we're all loving augustana's new song "sweet and low". d. keeps the cd in her car and rocks out with the girls every chance she gets. i, too, enjoy rocking out with the girls each day. currently we are feeling the "sex and the city" soundtrack. :-) g. is addicted to fergie's "labels or love", while z. and myself are hooked on india arie singing "heart of the matter". (although car dancing and singing along with fergie is crazyfun!)

music is such an important part of our family life. in the car, in the house, while we sleep, everywhere. all four of us connect deeply to ourselves and each other through music. it makes us laugh, think, feel, cry.

for both d. and i music was our escape from the lunacy that raged in each of our family homes as children. d. recalls her credit woes as a 3rd grader indebted to columbia tapes and records. i was a paul simon enthusiast, and played my 45 of slip slidin' away on my little blue record player so much i wore it out. (yes, i was a dark child).

our kids rarely choose straight up kids music, although they have the full collection. z. is a U2 junkie, has been since she was 4. g's tastes range from annie lennox to usher, much like my own. d. is a musical hound dog, meaning she is always sniffing out who is new and great on the music scene, and her tastes run a wide range.

d. and i were continuous concerts goers as youngins, both as a couple and before we met. our concert going fell off dramatically when the parenthood set in, but we are happily and steadily regaining that part of our life. the only issue has been explaining to our children that they can't come with if it's not an all ages show. last week we saw shawn colvin at the dakota in minneapolis. it was a great show, just shawn and her guitar. we had a table and ordered wine and french fries. (pretty different than hanging off the stage next to the speakers at first ave, sandwiched between a smelly guy and another smelly guy.) it was great! if you haven't seen a show at the dakota, i highly recommend. my favorite quote of the evening was after she sang "sunny came home" she leaned into the mic and sort of whispered, "sometimes you just need to write a good murder ballad". so true.

here is what else i have in my 5 disc changer in the car:

*jason mraz
*joshua radin
*sex and the city soundtrack
*shawn colvin
*lifehouse

what are you listening to?