inching along...

much like myself, time is inching along at an achingly slow pace towards our final moving date. it seems d. has been gone an eternity, and that our arrival in ithaca should be close at hand. this is not the reality. we are a mere 25% through this separation. this will be one of those times in our family history that we look back to and marvel at how we did it. because it will be done, it will happen, it is happening currently.

it feels very distinctly like i am in a body of water with a calm surface, and an incredibly strong undertow. time is simultaneously moving at lightening speed, and a snails pace. the emotional gestation cannot be rushed, yet I WANT THIS BABY OUT! it is an exhausting limbo this in between place.

what i wish for when i get to ithaca, and the truck is unloaded, and the troops are fed, and my road warrior angels have flown back to their homes, and my family is exhaling, what I WANT is to take a long slow walk at six mile rec, and swim in one of the swimming holes. feeling deeply that feeling of diving underwater and surfacing cool and new. going home tired and smiling i will open a local bottle of wine, sit on my patio, and maybe (just maybe) allow one tear of happiness to escape my weathered eyes as i exhale into contentment... it will be then that i have made it home.