letting go, moving on...

timelines are a bitch.  not the kind of bitch one loves (like me!) but the kind one does not so much care for.  over the last weeks as we have come to a firm decision to take our act to ithaca i have been trying my best to time manage the whole situation. 

the questions swim around in my head; when will we list here, when will dana start work there, should we put an offer on the house we love there, when to tell people, when to go, when when when will it all come together?  mid july? end of july? august? when?  i run possible scenarios in my head all day these days trying to figure out what's going to work the best for our family. 

quite frankly money is our main obstacle right now.  or lack thereof.  as if juggling all of these details wasn't stressful enough we have plowed through our savings while dana has been laid off these last months.  i know it's not proper in MN to talk openly about money, but why the fuck not?  it's real. we all deal with it.  we all have or have had some struggle or questions with it at some point in our lives; and yet we act as if it's taboo to talk about it.  fuck that noise. especially in this era of economic uptheassofthemiddleclassedness, we need to be on each others sides. talking about it helps.

but i digress (shocking)... i met with our realtor today, got my homework, and decided on a list price.  what i'm realizing is that i have to let go of something i have historically NOT been good at letting go of.  i have to let go of a timeline.  i have to let go of knowing.  for those of you out there who know me, you know that i like to know. ya know?  it's not serving me or my family well for me to be obsessing about the other side of this journey.  what i am learning (and will probably need to be reminded of lots) is that each day some thing(s) get figured out.  we are building something from the ground up.  one bit by one bit and we (i) need to trust in the process.  i don't want to miss a highest-good opportunity for me and my brood because my sights were not focused on the tasks at hand.  so, just one thing at a time.  one detail. one picture packed.  one project started.  just one.