sadly the following list is NOT A JOKE. it is the actual unaltered email i received from my fathers wife. i didn't feel i should hoard the laughter i got from this just for myself...happy holidays.
Greetings Folks:
I'm responding to some of your requests for "ideas." I think you'll find them all pretty practical. For those who have not sent us your "wish lists," I would appreciate them as soon as possible. Thank you very much!
· Rubbermaid snap on easy find lid containers in various sizes. Scott (my dad) complains "bitterly" about our current containers and finding the correct lid. BLACK lids only.
· Placemats for our round kitchen table. Need to be easy to launder or wipe off. Maybe the slightly rounded style; but not necessary
· JC Penneys Gift Card
· Scott needs underwear (we hardly ever get a chance to shop). He likes the extra heavy v-neck t-shirts (size L in Strafford brand) and size M briefs (she's talking about my dad here!)
· Jammies or Nightshirt/gown style for Syl (probably size small)
· Lounge pants & top for Scott (probably size large)
· Barnes & Noble Gift Card
· Movie Gift Card
· Two hours of closet cleaning/organization assistance by anyone
· Two hours of "spring cleaning" assistance in the store- vacuuming and dusting. Does not need to wait until spring
· Frozen meals
· Small bottles of water (pod size)
· Small bottles of Fanta orange pop
· Sunday morning breakfast
· Refills for Airwick Freshmatic air fresheners (large & small size)
· Microsoft wireless mouse x 1 for store
· Swingline battery operated stapler for store
· Store supplies (paper towels, paper plates, paper bowls, toilet paper)
· Hand towels (white, blue, yellow) that have a loop/hook to hang on a hook.
· Plastic storage bin(s) with wheels
· Schwan's Ice Cream Gift Certificate
· Columbia Crest Merlot, Shiraz, or Chardonnay Wine
· Casserole dish holder for round, oval, and rectangular casserole dishes
· LARGE frying pan with lid
· Black & Decker Adjustable Wrench for Scott (we saw an ad on TV. lately and he thought it looked good)
· Glasses (probably clear) that have a very low small stem 10-12 oz size. It would be nice if there was a matching style in about a 4-6 ounce size.
· Swingline electric (BATTERY Operated) stapler for store
· Small personal battery operated calculator for store--something to throw in a desk drawer
· Note pads for the store (anyone's giveaways work just fine for notes and scratch paper)
· Nice smelling liquid hand soap for home and store.
4 comments:
OMG. This belongs on the Ettiquette Hell forum. Did your father marry a 19-year-old poor college student? Is there something worng with her? Boy, I bet family gatherings are a BLAST with her around. And I thought my Christmas was going to suck ...
You should get her Lava soap and ziplock containers (blue lids). Maybe get her an Emily Post book, as well.
not a poor college student, sadly. just a very bizarre woman who i maintain has undiagnosed mental health issues (clearly). i will be drinking a good amount of wine at their holiday gathering...this much i know for sure.
i had the same idea to get her the blue lids, i thought i might take a step further and buy different sets of tupperware and repack it so she gets only mismatched lids and containers...
You know Rebecca, in a way I am kind of jealous. Everyone says their family is crazy. But you have actual documented proof of the insanity of your family. I can’t prove a thing unless you spend an evening with us (I guess I could take pictures…) But again, I say give her the wine. Maybe she will have too much and pass out:)
if i saved all of the lunatic emails i get from members of my family i could start yet another blog... (sadly).
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