i was gonna get the jet, but i bought this on ebay instead...

Sarah Palin's Speech Outline (original copy- i swear)

I. talk about my family.

a. focus on the males. (one line about all 3 females should cover it)

b. don't mention anything re: bristol's immaculate conception.
i. pay fox news to zoom in on fake engagement ring that the big mac bought for her to wear.

II. soundbite.
a. keep it light, no need to delve deep right now.

III. sarcastic quip.
a. never mention "him" by name. "our opponent" will do.

IV. soundbite (again, light on content+poorly educated public= fear based voting)

V. sarcastic quip
a. aim it for you-know-who

(pause to gaze lovingly at youngest daughter while she licks baby's hair.)

VII. soundbite.

VIII. sarcastic quips x 4

... and i'm done.

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yea, that's about how it came off. and did anyone else notice her startling resemblance to tina fey? i hate to admit it b/c i heart tina fey to the depths of my soul, but it could make for an AWESOME season opener for SNL if they take advantage of this! i can just see amy poehler playing the five year old licking her hand and smoothing out the sleeping babies hair. which makes me think, how the hell was that baby sleeping? my kids woke up at that age if the floor creaked, they may have spontaneously imploded in that environment. did they dope him, do you think? she went back to work as the governor of alaska 3 days after his birth, so i wouldn't put it past her. 3 days!!

c'mon people. seriously. seriously? SERIOUSLY!! seriously?? superserious? are you serious?

serious.