i'm so S.A.H.F.- ic

being new this whole blogging business i have been poking around trying to find interesting blogs to read and people to connect with. i am mostly drawn to mom blogs, more specifically, brutally honest mom blogs that make me feel less alone. i've found a few good ones (see blog list) and look forward to continued exploration. on one mom blog i saw she referred to herself as a SAHM (stay at home mom). i like this for a few reasons: one, i am a fan of acronyms, and B.) it got the polluted stream of consciousness in my head flowing.

you see i have long identified as a stay at home feminist. never heard of such a title? you will, just wait it will sweep nation one of these days. i'm sure of it. i've chosen this identity because it's more about who i am individually than who i am as related to my kids and partner, and i don't want to lose myself while i am at home parenting and running this mad house. it also separates me out from the at-home mombots who are drunk on their power at the PTO, and for whom the word scrapbook is a verb. i like this distinction. so i was thinking, what would my acronym be? why it would have to be SAHF, of course!. which naturally made me think of Sappho, queen of the isle of lesbos. so i have decided that a good all inclusive acronym to help identify all of who i am (feminist-mother-lesbian) is to simply refer to myself as SAHF-ic. i'm so SAHF-ic. yes, it suits me. which leads me to wonder, are there any other SAHF-ic's out there in the blogosphere? i would love to find you if you ever find yourselves lurking here. one need not be a lesbian to be SAHF-ic, but one must be a feminist.

next i started wondering, what should i be doing as a SAHF-ic pioneer to make my agenda known? do i even have an agenda? or is this just a way of amusing myself and making me believe that i have not lost who i was b.c. (before children)? and then i thought, what the hell, i ALWAYS have an agenda, and opinions. i also always have a feeling of entitlement to share my opinions, whether wanted or not. i'm not saying it's a good quality, i'm just saying i possess it. anyhoo, here is my SAHF-ic bill of rights/ code of conduct/ list of demands/ random proclamations: (AKA, you might be a SAHF-ic if...)

1.) Have a lot of opinions and share them regularly.

2.) Believe that women are at least equal, but more likely superior.

3.) enjoy political discourse.

4.) this is a must: opt OUT of the free-with-every- c-section lobotomy that is apparently being offered at hospitals nation wide.

5.) never wear high heels and/ or make-up when you aren't going to make it out of the house that day and then claim, "i just feel better when i look nice". wanna feel better? read a book or listen to NPR. or better yet, take a nap because you're probably over tired.

6.) talk (and listen) to your kids as if you actually value their opinions and ideas.

7.) value their opinions and ideas.

8.) value your opinions and ideas. and for that matter tell your kids that they need to value your opinions and ideas.

9.) identify and do some things that YOU enjoy doing every day, even if it means that the things (i.e. house cleaning) don't get done.

10.) don't settle for being disrespected by your family. just because we SAHF-ics aren't unionized doesn't mean we can't go on strike.

11.) make yourself laugh by making your kids think you've snapped completely. sometimes i climb on my kitchen table at lunch time and shake my fists while shouting "UNION! UNION!" so i can feel like norma ray. it really freaks'em out.

12.) when you're sad, be sad. when you're happy, be happy. when you're mad, swear under your breath while stomping around the house. teach your kids that you're human and it's ok for everyone in a family to feel all kinds of things and still love each other. (even moms)

13.) make some friends and go out with them. have a life outside of your house that has nothing to do with your kids. it's good for you, and it's a good example of self-care to set for the future SAHF-ics in your house that may be watching. personally, i like to play ridiculously hard trivia at a bar on tuesday nights with my friends.

14.) keep up on current events, not only for trivia night, but to keep one foot planted in the world outside of your family.

15.) and lastly (for now), be appalled and angry at all of the stupid shit that is going on around us. and then blog about it so your fellow SAHF-ics can get pissed off too.